A husband with potential

November 28, 2021 0 Comments

Women often ask, even unconsciously, what they want in a man they want to call a husband. Men will do the same with a wife. But for women they are looking for a particular type of husband. They need a husband with potential: to grow, to adapt, to lead smoothly, someone who is already committed to working on themselves and being an old-fashioned man.

But there is such a fine line to this whole quest. For those who already have husbands, there is a temptation to force your man to become a sensitive new age boy. This is fraught with dangers, because no man wants to be coerced, and neither does any woman.

For those looking for a potential husband, perhaps the most important clue is to identify within the man they are interested in, the character traits that show them committed to working on themselves. Are they oriented towards virtue? Are you looking to become better people as you age? Are they oriented towards improvement? Are they willing to see themselves as wrong?


By far what is most needed in a husband is potential and not perfection. A woman’s intuition is more satiated by a man who fails but has the heart to try than by a man who supposedly never makes a mistake.

When it comes to husbands, and the characteristics of wives for this too, perfection is significantly overrated. In the realm of relationships, whether alone with ourselves or, in this case, in marriage, perfection is unheard of. And if perfection is sought, we must connect with it a feeling of sinful pride. It is wrong to want to be perfect or to expect perfection from our peers.

Perfection and relationships don’t mix.

The typical woman’s heart melts from the sincerity of the man’s diligence to do the best he can. She, in her prime, doesn’t push him; she never expects perfection. She learns not to moan at her failures. She learns not to give up. While her husband tries, shows potential and does not hurt, she remains by his side, believing in him.


Many marriages can be improved simply by positive feedback; recognition of good efforts where recognition is deserved. Perhaps the perfectionist wife, who moans often, could deter her husband’s best efforts. Learn early on that the effort is not worth it. Its potential may have been extinguished. The fire of effort in this husband’s heart must be rekindled by a supportive and encouraging wife.

However, the wife who focuses on her husband’s potential praises him for the things he tries, both small and big, for the intention behind his actions. A husband with potential has much more to do with intention and virtuosity than with being perfect in every way.

When the husband with potential is recognized for the intention behind his efforts, he is encouraged to continue working on self-improvement.

Women want and need a man with potential, committed to working on themselves; not the perfect man. Your intent and efforts in the relationship are paramount; its results are secondary. Failure is not a deciding factor. Men should focus on trying first.

© 2012 SJ Wickham.

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