Why do I want my tubes tied?

This Monday I’m going to have my tubes tied. I am 29 years old and my tubes are being tied. It’s happening. I’ve had some mixed reactions from people, so I thought I’d explain my reasoning behind this decision.

1. My mental health:

I struggle with some serious mental health issues that have plagued me since I was 15 years old. I just found a combination of medications that keeps me stable, happy, and able to live my life. When I don’t take my medicine, I’m crying all the time, angrier, a lot more impatient, and just generally not a fun person to be around. When I get pregnant, I go crazy. Medications need to be adjusted and hormones need to be treated. Then after pregnancy I am prone to postpartum depression which makes those 6 months of my life a roller coaster of nonsense. It’s a bunch of crazy stuff that strains my relationships with others and makes my life miserable. That was the main reason for my decision.

2. My birth control failed me once:

I was on birth control when I got pregnant with baby Wallace. He must have really needed to come into the world. So now I’m a lot more wary of traditional birth control. I know the chances of it happening again are overwhelmingly slim, but I’d rather not take that risk.

3. The M-word:

We can’t afford any more children. Money is a factor in most of our life decisions and we honestly don’t feel like it would be fiscally responsible for us to have another child. That is our situation. I’m sure it would probably work if we felt strongly that we needed to have another but, as you can already guess, I haven’t had that strong feeling.

4. It feels good to me:

I’m not saying that every 29 year old should run out and have this procedure, I’m saying that it is what I feel is right for me and my body. Pregnancy is difficult for me, mentally and physically. None of my pregnancies have been easy, and this last one was especially difficult. I really wanted soft pregnancies, but they just weren’t in my cards.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I am grateful to everyone in my life, both here and in heaven. I wouldn’t leave them for the world. But I feel like they are my world now and our family is complete. I feel no anguish or shock at this decision. I feel relieved and excited for the next chapter of my life. I feel like I can jump into parenting knowing I don’t have to wonder if I’ll ever have to go through the pain and stress of another pregnancy. It’s actually quite a liberating feeling.