7 Reasons NOT to Move to Denver, Colorado

That’s how it is! In case you didn’t read or watch the news, Colorado was officially one of the most popular cities in the country in America last year. More than 100,000 people moved to Colorado, making us the #2 state in the country for inbound migration. (Wow, what was number one?)

Denver benefited (or suffered depending on your point of view) better than anyone in the 24-36 category. More young people move to Denver than to any other city in the United States. We wonder why?

Reason #1 Marijuana tourists.

The only thing worse than tourists is a TALL tourist. Now they walk aimlessly looking for something sweet to eat and something cold to drink. And you thought microbreweries were popular? Check out South Broadway anytime.

Reason #2 Exercise.

Denver is consistently ranked as one of the “fittest” cities in the country. If you move here, you’ll have to train AND do yoga at Red Rocks on Sundays. Oh really.

Reason #3 There is no more gold.

All the gold has been had! That’s right, all of the Weather Channel Prospecting reality shows are fake. Nobody is discovering pockets of half a million dollars that are not empty. I mean, come on, what did you really think?

Reason #4 Fails to bake.

The high altitude makes baking Grandma’s apple pie virtually impossible. After many failed attempts, most bakers give up.

Reason #5 Rocky Mountain oysters.

There are few places as close to eating testicles as Denver. Fried beef balls are served at many local restaurants, and even at Coors Field.

Do you want things to do? Just pick up the Denver Post, Westword Magazine, 5280 Magazine, or any other media source and you’ll find literally dozens of things to see and do on any given day. Don’t you believe us? Ask for your postal mail magazine and find out.

Reason #6 You will have to buy a bike.

Denver has more than 850 miles of paved and off-road biking trails. That means you can travel a long way from home before your calves cramp up and you have to call someone to drive you.

Beautiful views – from City Park to Colorado’s Front Range. You want to live here?

Reason #7 Denver’s 300 days of sunshine is a lie.

Denver enjoys clear skies for the most part, and much more so than other modern cities like New York, Seattle, and San Francisco. However, it does not have the 300 days of sunshine as most people presume. According to Denver Westword, the city actually enjoys around 115 clear days, 130 partly cloudy days, and 120 cloudy days. That’s still a lot of vitamin D, but it makes you wonder what else Denver is lying about.