Giving Holiday Gifts: Supporting the True Intent of Why We Give

When it comes to gift giving, it’s the thought that counts … or is it? We’ve all been on the receiving end, at one point or another, of giveaways that have left us scratching our heads wondering what the heck the giveaway was thinking when it decided to award us this particular item.

For many people, giving gifts, especially during the holidays, is an obligation rather than a sincere act of love, kindness, generosity, or gratitude. How else to explain those totally random gifts that have little practical or sentimental value?

We often use gifts as a way to overcompensate for a perceived lack of self-worth or fitness. When we feel “less than” about ourselves, we tend to spend more on gifts in hopes of gaining the love and approval we seek from others. How many times have you been shopping at a store over the holidays and found yourself in line behind someone at the cash register who seems to have gone completely insane? They have loaded their carts to the maximum, as if they were on a shopping spree and their lives depended on grabbing as many items as possible in the shortest time possible. Giving gifts when viewed in the context of this prism becomes a futile exercise in self-redemption through crude commercialism; After all, imagine the disappointment of this person’s family and friends if they did not show up on vacation with lots of gifts. !

Then there are people who feel the need to keep score … are you one of them? It is if you wait to see who gives you a gift first before reciprocating, make decisions about who to gift based on historical performance (that is, who gave you a gift the previous year), or your goal is to maintain parity in your gift giving, which means you always give gifts of roughly the same value or perceived value as the ones you receive.

All this mental tallying is time consuming, exhausting, and distracts us from the true intention of gift-giving: acknowledging those we love and care for. When gift-giving starts to feel like a chore or an obligation, it’s time to re-evaluate your gift-giving strategy! Why do you give gifts? Is it to satisfy an ego-based need? Is the real motivation to make yourself feel better or to make someone else happy? What if you let your ego get out of the way and focus on what would make the other person happy based on what they really need or

A gift is your way of expressing how you feel for another person, your way of showing gratitude for having them in your life. The best gift you can give is the gift of sharing your feelings with someone, being present with them in a way that reminds them that they mean something to you. Here’s a quick look at some gift ideas that can support true intent to donate:

Gifts of experiences
There is something deeply satisfying and rewarding about sharing experiences with someone you care about. Build and strengthen the bond between you. It can be something simple like inviting them to dinner and a movie, going to a concert, play or sporting event together, or doing something more complicated like spending a day hiking or exploring nature, being pampered at a spa, or visiting. to the local museum, or volunteering for an event. The emphasis should be on bonding – sharing the experience rather than just handing them a gift certificate or a couple of tickets to something.

Gifts from the Heart

Gifts from the heart are the most meaningful and can take many forms: gifts of time, love, or support (babysitting, housekeeping, pet care, tech support for those with computer problems, gardening tips, or decorating, cooking lessons). , house cleaning, coffee or a meal together). Think of something your gifted person needs, can really use, or you know would make him or her feel good. Start by asking ‘What do you need?’ or ‘What can I help you create?’ In this way, you can help them do or create something that is important or meaningful to them. You are building on your idea rather than an idea of ​​your own that may not be that important to them.

If time is a big challenge, then other heart-centered donations include contributions to charitable causes that are important to the donor, or donations from companies that tithe or support similar causes.

Handmade gifts

Another great way to show someone you care is by using your talents to give them a gift. Great handmade gifts include food (culinary infused jellies, jams, oils and vinegars, all kinds of desserts), bath and body items (soaps, candles, perfumes, lip balms, lotions and creams), clothing (any type of knitwear, screen-printed or hand-dyed clothing), jewelry, accessories, home decoration, pet accessories, other handicraft items (photos, drawings, paintings, scrapbooks, etc.). If you don’t have the time or skill, consider purchasing handmade gifts; It’s not as personal as something you do, but it still has more value than ordinary store-bought items.

Here are some resources you can check out for gift ideas:

For charitable giving, check out the Charity Navigator Christmas Donation Guide to help you evaluate different charities and aid organizations and make the most of your contributions.

For green, handmade gifts that make a difference, shop the World of Good website, a shopping site with a treasure trove of more than 20,000 green, fair trade and ethically sourced gifts and products from around the world. world. And don’t forget to check out Etsy, a shopping site that only offers handmade products in a variety of product categories.

For gifts for people in need, take a look at Kiva. Advocated by former President Bill Clinton, this organization allows you to use your money to provide microcredits to entrepreneurs in poor and rural areas of the world in order to help them achieve economic independence and a better quality of life. Another great option in this category is Heifer International.

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