How can I save my marriage when my husband can’t remember the last time he was in love with me?

I often hear of devastated wives reeling from their husband’s hurtful words. Usually, the husband has just admitted that he is no longer in love with his wife. Sometimes he will insist that although he loves them, he is careful to make the distinction that he is not “in love.” This can leave the wife not only hurt beyond description, but also quite confused.

I heard a wife say, “My husband has been hinting for months that he thinks we should separate or divorce. I was hoping things would get better, so I tried not to worry too much about this. But last night, he told me he was moving to an apartment near his work, I asked him why he was taking things so far and he said ‘I love you very much, but I’m not in love with you anymore.’ He hadn’t been in love with me in a while. His response was ‘I don’t know. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I felt in love with you.’ I couldn’t even speak, I was so broken. It’s bad enough being told your husband isn’t in love with you. But to think that years could have gone by without him feeling love and passion for me, well, it’s almost beyond belief. that I can bear. And I think it could mean that our marriage is beyond repair. It hurts me so much to think that when he looks at me, he doesn’t feel love. I still love him very much. Does this mean that there is no hope for us? Do husbands fall in love with their wives again even though they have not been in love for a long time?I will try to answer these questions in the next article.

Why Husbands Often Feel Like They’ve “Falled Out Of Love” With Their Wives: I hope I don’t sound insensitive. But it doesn’t stop me when I hear a wife confess that her husband is no longer “in love” with her. It is true that she stopped me in my tracks and broke my heart when it was my own husband who spoke these words. But over the years, through my blog and my own experience, I’ve learned that husbands think they’ve fallen out of love with their wives all the time. It’s not even uncommon for those same spouses to eventually realize they were wrong about this all along, or to change their minds when their circumstances or perceptions change.

There are many reasons why a man might think that he is no longer in love with his wife. He may be responding to a stagnant marriage (which can be rekindled relatively easily). He may be going through a very difficult time in his life where he associates his wife with this stress. Or he may be approaching middle age and all that that entails, so he may want to “start over” or “start over” and feel that it means throwing off his married life. Another is that he may not feel appreciated, valued, or heard, so his claim that he is not in love with you is intended to retaliate. And any reason your husband may have for his feelings is absolutely valid. it means he can’t and won’t change his mind given the right set of changes or pushes.

Even if your husband hasn’t been “in love” with you for a while, all hope is not lost: I know it’s so painful to hear him say that he hasn’t been in love with you in a long time. He makes you wonder what else he could be hiding from you and makes you wonder if you are in a hopeless situation.

In my opinion and experience, you are not. I have seen many marriages turn around even when one spouse absolutely believes that all the love, passion, and chemistry is gone. I am not going to tell you that it is an easy or short process. I am not going to tell you that you are not going to change at least some of your habits, perceptions and behaviors because none of this would be true.

However, countless couples find that once they refocus on their marriage and spouse, and once they open their hearts to some long-overdue changes, their feelings definitely can (and often do) change for the better. .

Here’s something that could make you feel a lot better, but you may not have considered. Think about your circumstances when you were most “in love.” It is likely that you were in the early stages of your relationship, where both of you were more attentive, complementary, and reactive. In other words, he went to great lengths to listen and react when her spouse spoke because he was so invested in the relationship and in making her spouse happy. Energy and exertion levels were probably higher than ever. The key to regaining the feelings of being “in love” is to regain some of the attention and effort.

I promise you that if you make listening, appreciating, and validating your spouse a priority, you will find that their attitude and behavior toward you is changing. And, when this happens in your own marriage, your husband will see you in a new light and he will be more open to feeling all those feelings for you that he has been repressing. As he becomes more receptive to you and begins to believe that you are sincere and that your marriage can really change, his feelings are much more likely to follow his lead.

In fact, it’s not at all uncommon for me to hear from some of the wives whose husbands told them that he wasn’t in love anymore only to hear that he has completely changed his tune and is committed to the marriage and reconnecting. I know that his claims of not being in love with you are disturbing and hurtful. But know that with the right plan, this can change.