Men entangled in mothers: Does a man entangled in mothers realize that he is not living his own life?

One thing that might cross a woman’s mind, if she’s in a relationship with a man who’s having an affair with her mother, is if he can see that she’s not living her own life. By being outside, so to speak, she will be able to clearly see what is going on.

Instead of putting his own needs first and doing what is right for him, he will have a tendency to put his mother’s needs first and do what is right for her. This could be something that other people have noticed throughout your life but haven’t mentioned.

knocked out

Then again, if this has been mentioned in the past, you may have dismissed what was said. This likely means that you will not have taken the time to reflect on what was said.

If she had taken the time to consider what was said, it would have given her the chance to change her life. Unfortunately, it would have been business as usual and he would have gone the same way.

to the messenger

Now that you are in a relationship, you will have another person in your life who can see what you are going through and has cleared it up or will clear it up. If she has yet to clear this up, the way he’s responded in the past could be the way she’ll respond again.

Then your partner will have something important to share and will care about him, but she may end up being seen as the problem. This will prevent her from taking a look at what was said and she could end up being criticized.

two ways

If this were to happen, your partner might get the impression that he is not going to change and might believe that she needs to end the day. Alternatively, she might believe that he will change if she sticks with it and doesn’t give up on him.

There is a chance that you will change if you value and love the woman you are with. Then again, it may all depend on how entangled he is with his mother and whether a part of him, no matter how small this part is, is ready to draw the line.

Confusion

Other than this, it may seem strange how a man can be in a position like this and not see what’s going on. It won’t take someone being in a relationship with him to see that he’s not living his own life; this will be something that might stick out after someone has known you for a very short period of time.

Still, while it will be easy for an outsider to see, it will be something they won’t be able to see. Now, if you have moments when it crosses your mind that something is not right, you could soon block out these perceptions.

Abnormal

Considering that you are an individual, with your own needs, wants, desires, and preferences, you should be able to see that something is not right. Not only this, you must have a need to investigate why his life is the way it is and do something about it.

Instead, most of your time and energy will go to your mother and you won’t need to do anything about it. What is clear is that he is neglecting himself and for whatever reason, this is what he feels comfortable with.

back in time

Most likely, this is a consequence of what happened during his early years, this being a stage of his life in which he had to focus on his mother’s needs. Because she was in an underdeveloped state, she would have subconsciously seen him as an extension of herself and as someone who was there to meet her needs.

In order to survive, he would have had to lose contact with his true self and develop a false self. This would have involved losing touch with his own needs and feelings, his inner world, and being super focused on his mother’s needs and feelings, his outer world.

The consequences

In addition to distancing himself, he would not have received what he needed to receive in order to grow and develop. He will then look like a man, but he will be in a symbiotic state and therefore will probably feel like a traumatized child deep down.

His early experiences taught him that his needs were bad, and because his needs were a part of him, he would have believed that he was bad. Furthermore, he would have been conditioned from an early age to focus on his mother and ignore himself.

play the past

With this in mind, hopefully by focusing on his mother he will feel comfortable and not cross his mind that he is going against himself; your sense of self will be in an underdeveloped state. This is what he has been doing for most of his life.

However, you may often feel frustrated and angry, but as you are likely to bottle up these feelings, you may find that you often feel down and depressed. So, unlike in ancient Sparta, where boys were raised to be warriors, he will have been raised to serve his mother.

soul murder

The person who was supposed to help prepare him for the real world would have used it. He is on this planet to live his own life, that is the truth; he’s not here to act like the father of his mother.

His father was unlikely to have been emotionally available, if even around, at this stage in his life either, as his support would have allowed him to begin the individuation process; having gradually gone from being emotionally entangled with her mother, to emotionally detached from her. This would have allowed him to develop a strong sense of self and healthy boundaries.
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Awareness

If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.