One of the weirdest sexual perversions is sucking your own penis – Also known as Autofellatio

I came across this psychological article that had to do with autofellatio. The authors described this sexual act as “one of the rarest sexual perversions”.

Man, that’s pretty heavy stuff.

However, you have to love the latex glove treatment these “experts” wear when handling such issues. “Suck your own penis” is antiseptic to become “autofellatio” and “sexual freak” is redefined as people who practice “sexual perversions”.

It’s almost as if they are terrified of using simple colloquial expressions. Can you blame them? If the “experts” used simple, everyday expressions, they might accidentally visualize such things in their own mind. Imagine that. They may “turn off” with those thoughts and then be unable to focus on their “work.” We can’t have that. The “human” element is strictly prohibited.

Apparently “perversion” means something that is against what is considered “right” versus “wrong”. An even deeper meaning implies that it is “abnormal”.

Pretty subjective, don’t you think? But creative free will is certainly not applicable when we are defining “right” and “wrong”, so the objective approach (of course based on wear own definitions of objectivity).

It wasn’t long ago that oral sex was considered “kinky.” It still is, actually, for some people. I guess that makes the rest of the 83% of us who enjoy oral sex “perverted”.

Welcome to the club.

I think all my male friends consider themselves perverts. It’s something to be proud of, really. Women don’t seem to boast about such things; at least not with me. There is something a bit taboo and off-putting about being a pervert! (I’ll let your imagination let you define that for yourself. But really, it’s a guy thing, you know. We’re all pretty harmless, really. Well, most of us.)

Good. What is the first thing you do when you accidentally cut your finger? You put it in your mouth and suck on it.

Why is that?

Because while there is enough bacteria in your mouth right now to kill you, you have something called an immune system. Your immune system works non-stop to ensure that you keep invading bacteria and your mates at bay. That’s why we don’t die from our own bacterial breath that causes halitosis.

The saliva in your mouth is special. It’s special because it’s loaded to the brim with antibacterial enzymes. That’s why you instinctively put your finger in your mouth when you cut it. This is because the saliva will not only help remove any debris from the wound, but it will also start the early stages of healing. Your saliva is a natural antibiotic. And a very good one at that.

Did your parents teach you to put your finger in your mouth and suck on the wound to help heal it? your teachers? Did you read it in a book?

No. So how and where did you learn to do that? You didn’t learn it. You do it instinctively.

Now, I imagine that almost all men, when they reach a certain age and are smart enough to realize their sexual potential, begin to realize that their mouth is not that away from his penis… What do you think happens next? He wonders if he can perform “autofellatio”.

Did your parents teach you this? Did your teachers draw attention to this? Did he read it in a book? Or maybe we can blame the family dog?

No. His brain and instinct put two and two together. he imagines it it is possible. Then she tries it. Some men fail and some men succeed.

So if sucking my thumb is a natural instinct to heal me, why is it a “perversion” to ask if I can suck my penis? A “rare” one at that.

As my gross anatomy professor used to say, when asked why the great saphenous vein ran anterior to the medial malleolus in some people and posterior in others, “God only knows.”

Yes, “Only God knows.”

One wonders what they think of boys who suck their thumbs or girls who suck their hair… Does that mean that boys will become necrophiliacs and girls ghouls? If you have kids, that might keep you up tonight…

God forbid if a child bites his nails. That must mean that he is destined to become both a sadist and a masochist.

Subjectivism versus objectivism versus sexual perversionism.

Kimi Kalfino

Men interested in exploring the limits of modern sexuality with all its socialist shackles and religious restrictions can broaden their sexual horizons by learning autofellatio. A guide that will help you is the book Yogafellatio.