Resisting the dangers of conformity
As human beings, we have a strong need to conform to group rules. We allow ourselves to be influenced by the attitudes, beliefs and behaviors of other people. Their acceptance or approval gives us a sense of self-worth.
Why do we settle?
1. The human herd instinct thrives on a sense of belonging.
2. The desire for acceptance and approval is strong.
3. It gives us a sense of social mobility through group identity.
4. Not conforming would risk suffering the horror of rejection.
Compared to conformists, the percentage of nonconformists is very small. They are viewed with suspicion or even contempt as they refuse to be paralyzed by herd mentality or bound by popular beliefs and practices. Whether it’s religion or lifestyles, they stand up for what they believe in, despite what others think of them. They are often labeled asocial or antisocial.
How do we conform?
1. In today’s consumer-centric culture with its inventive and irresistible marketing campaigns, people crave a lifestyle of acquisitions. Even older generations are forced to reorient themselves and their values, to fit in with the crowd. Visual bombardment through aggressive advertising of designer gadgets, cosmetics and clothing offers status symbols that are hard to ignore.
2. We allow ourselves to be manipulated by the power of money. Indulgence and hedonism come naturally to those with excessive wealth. A wallet full of plastic cards gives one a sense of power. No one in this age wants to suffer from socioeconomic or cultural inferiority.
3. We allow our souls to be polluted through pornography, trash TV, immorality, drug and alcohol abuse. Says Salman Rushdie, “Pornography is vital to freedom, as it reflects all the activities of life.” A hundred years ago, Sigmund Freud had the same opinion. “The only unnatural behavior is not having sex at all.” Nudity and open sexuality occupy the minds of men and women more than half a century ago. The degradation and depersonalization of sex through relaxed living, conviviality, and debauchery come at a high price. The trivialization of sex to ridiculous levels by dissecting and discussing every aspect of it in the media has made it look cheap. Chastity is out of fashion, and the voices that once spoke for her are silent. We live and approve of a libertine society.
4. Women are paying the price for following different brands of feminism. They want to live and work like men, smoke to relieve stress and drink to show that what men do they can do better. In the last fifteen years, the number of alcoholic women has tripled. Previously, women had the four-and-a-half-year life expectancy advantage over men. Today the gap is narrowing due to similar lifestyles. Women don’t realize that by posing as men they are simply living according to patriarchal values. According to scientists at the Swedish Institute of Public Health, there is a link between equality and poor health. Men are affected by the loss of male privilege, and women’s health is harmed by the increased opportunity for risky behavior and the stress of long working hours.
5 Disintegration of the family unit and devaluation of family values. Spouses pursue their ambitions while neglecting the family. A generation of ‘lock key’ children is growing up without proper parental guidance. They are compensated with gifts and gadgets. The Internet and mobile phones provide ample fodder for mischief. The spouses themselves lack mutual commitment. Pecadilloes are allowed through a ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.
6. The lure of cults becomes impossible to resist. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to peer pressure. Hard rock music, drugs, alcohol, strange fashions, or vulgar language give them the acceptance they crave, even if it means disobeying their parents. Adults are drawn to Scientology, New Age charms or religious cults that create a state of mind in which people lose self-confidence and hand over their decision-making ability to outside authority. Due to the spiritual emptiness in the world today, people run after gurus and spiritual mediums. It’s elegant to be ‘spiritual’, and scientists, movie stars, famous citizens, media moguls have all jumped on this bandwagon. The science has expanded to include mystical and bizarre experiences, out-of-body travel, astral sojourns, meditation techniques, psychic healing, and tarot card predictions. They promise the ‘Age of Aquarius’, a time of mass peace and enlightenment. Cults are powerful and dangerously deceitful. This has happened because Man yearns for total autonomy from God.
7 The use of heroic medical technology such as cloning, sex selection, artificial reproduction techniques or euthanasia. Man has begun to believe that he is God.
The dangers of compliance are
o Loss of self-image and identity.
o Danger of losing our individuality and becoming clones of each other.
o Lack of ability to make sound and individual decisions.
How to resist the dangers of conformity.
1. Man is made in the image of God. He has been given intelligence, powers of discretion, and free will. We need to use these gifts wisely to enhance the image of the Creator within us.
2. Self-esteem comes from having a positive image of oneself. Every human being is unique and is capable of making wise and well-informed decisions. A self-confident person will not seek solutions outside of himself. He is aware that he has the resources within himself to direct his own life. “Self-confidence is the first secret of success,” says Ralph Waldo Emerson.
3. A close relationship with God provides a firm foundation for a stable life. “Do not conform to the standards of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” advises Saint Paul in Romans 12:2.
4. Cultivate the friendship of people with a healthy and positive outlook on life.
5. Live by healthy sexual standards. Today’s world cannot provide moral guidance as it has a perverted view of sex. God’s standards are solid.
“Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes do not burn?” asks the writer of Proverbs (6:27)
6. Make your life worthwhile by serving others.
Being self-assured and operating with the knowledge that we carry within us the means to distance ourselves from the herd instinct protects us from the dangers of conformity.