Why is it so difficult to take pictures of your own children?

When you take your kids to a photographer, they get nervous. They don’t know what to expect and it’s all a bit scary for them. Almost every session with children that I have done follows a similar progression. At the beginning of the session the child appears nervous and shy. Something interesting happens after a few photographs. The child will relax and strike a magical balance between nervous and overly excited. This magical balance is a wonderful thing. This short window of time between nervous and comfortable is where a photographer gets the best pictures of him. This is the time when a child will laugh, smile and enjoy the session. This weather is perfect for taking pictures, but it doesn’t last long. Within a few minutes, the child becomes too comfortable. Once they’re comfortable, they’ll act silly and have too much fun to follow directions. This is when a professional photographer will end the session.

What does this have to do with taking photos of your own child?

The professional will make the children a little nervous. When mom or dad is behind the camera, the child is not nervous. They don’t have to be. Without that bit of nervousness or hesitation, children are much more difficult to photograph. There is no nervousness and therefore no perfect timing. Children feel comfortable with mom and dad from the very beginning. That means they’ll be dumber and harder to handle right off the bat. Of course, there are a few other important factors that determine how difficult it is to get great photos of your own children.

Does the age of your child matter?

Yes. Yes. And yes!

The 2-3 year old is almost always the most difficult age to photograph. If he doesn’t ask them to stay still, they’re likely to smile, have fun, and the end result is great photos. However, something scary happens when you tell them to stay put or sit down. Your adorable son suddenly becomes possessed. Kicking and screaming and yelling will soon ensue because you asked them to do something they really don’t want to do.

The good news is that around their fourth birthday, they can be bribed. A 4-year-old is emotionally mature enough to sit in on a photo op with parents for some kind of prize (McDonald’s and Ice Cream being the most popular).

What about the number of children?

Again yes. With each child you add to a photo, it will be more difficult to get everyone to cooperate for a photo. Unfortunately, gifting a child is not a solution most people want to consider.

Does this mean that photographing your children is a lost cause?

Photo sessions with mom often end in an argument complete with threats, frustration, and a promise to never try again. She can be extremely frustrating, but she doesn’t have to be. You can improve the experience for everyone involved. Here are three tips that will help you improve your photography of her, allowing the whole experience to be a positive one instead of a negative one.

1. Adjust expectations – Don’t expect the perfect image. Expect to have fun and enjoy what you catch. The more fun everyone is having, the more likely it is that you’ll get another chance in the future.

2. The more, the merrier – Instead of expecting perfection on the first try, make it fun and try often. Take your camera with you more often and capture the funny moments. The more pictures you take, the more guardians you will have at the end.

3. Embrace your silly side. – Your children feel instantly at ease with you. Take advantage of that and capture those silly moments. These memories will be cherished in the future.

Photographing your children can be one of the most difficult tasks you’ve ever faced, but don’t let the difficulty of the task cloud its importance. These photographs will become a legacy your family will enjoy for decades and generations to come. Have fun and make lots of memories.